Karla (Age 58, She/Her)

I feel like I've been on a lifelong search to 'find my people.' I’ve known I was different for as long as I can remember, almost feeling like an alien. I'm awkward, quiet, and mostly polite, but I suffer from extreme impatience and cannot tolerate crowds or obnoxious noise. I do my best to pretend to be a normal person, then endlessly over-analyze every interaction. As my friends went to college, I became a teen mom and married with two kids by 22. Mothering was not easy for me, but I did the best I could, and I’m proud to say my kids are now responsible adults. I have recently stopped working full-time in order to care for my 89-year-old mother.  Caring for her is in many ways similar to caring for a toddler: making sure she doesn't fall, fixing her meals, helping her get dressed. Most days it takes every ounce of patience I can muster.

A friend of mine was diagnosed with ADHD in her 40s, and it really surprised me because she and I are very much alike (we're not hyper!), so I researched ADHD. Since autism occurs frequently with ADHD, I went down both rabbit holes, thinking I’d prove her doctor wrong, but I wound up learning terms and concepts that perfectly describe what I’ve never had words for. I instantly knew I had found the answers I was searching for my entire life. I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism at age 56.  I'm 58 now and still processing this diagnosis; situations from my past will randomly pop into my head with newfound understanding.  I've spent decades beating myself up and being exhaustingly self-conscious without understanding WHY - now I am finally learning, and I can be easier on myself.  There are countless undiagnosed people struggling right now without knowing why life feels harder for them than for everyone else.  Nobody has a perfectly normal brain - investigate and learn about your own brain and gain understanding of your one precious life.